Monday, April 2, 2012

Why I Choose To Be Anonymous


Don't worry, folks...these pics are super old.

To me, some of the best blogs are ones that give great insight into the author's life. I love seeing pictures of bloggers and hearing about their weekends. Putting names with faces makes things more realistic for me.

When I started this blog a few months ago, I wanted so much to be transparent. Finally, I was going to share with the world who I was and what I really go through on a daily basis living with infertility. I thought that if I could help just one person get through a few bad days, I would have succeeded.

The time came, and I decided that I would be somewhat anonymous on my blog. Of course, I use snippets of my own pictures and call myself Mrs. M., (which I suppose could be traced back to me if someone REALLY wanted to stalk me), but I don't show my face or use my full name. It is difficult to keep things descriptive, yet vague enough that should someone I know stumble across this blog, they won't realize it is me.

So why am I anonymous?

1. My family. I have not officially told my mother or Mr. M.'s parents that we are dealing with infertility. They may assume as much, but I have never told them. I have done this for specific purposes. I don't want unsolicited advice, nosey questions, or forced conversations on the topic. I also don't want this news spread around to the whole world just yet (which would probably happen if some of them knew). I also don't think some of the parties involved here would be supportive and/or understanding of this struggle. For example, Mr. M. is one of 7 children, and my mother got pregnant on her honeymoon and never had morning sickness for any of her 3 pregnancies. Infertility doesn't really cross my mother's mind.

2. My friends. Only a select few know that we are dealing with infertility, and even some of those people aren't supportive. I don't want it to take over my friendships.

3. My privacy. Does everyone I know in real life really need to know what it is I am doing with my husband in order to make a baby? Really?

4. The crazies. If everyone knew that I had an infertility blog and wrote about the crazy things people do and say, they wouldn't be so crazy. They would edit themselves. Then I wouldn't be able to give an authentic depiction of what really goes on when one is dealing with infertility.

I do have a family blog, which I suppose I could direct readers to. As long as my family blog isn't connected to this one, I might be ok. I don't know, though.

So, what do you think? Why are you anonymous (or not anonymous)? Am I just paranoid?

---Mrs. M.


  1. I'm anonymous because I don't really *want* people I know IRL reading my blog. I have one IRL friend who reads my blog and that alone has led to some difficult conversations. My blog is *my* space and I get to bitch and moan about whatever or whomever I please. The anonymity protects me and those I care about from the shitty things I might say when I'm having a bad day.

  2. I think I'm barely anonymous...I believe I could easily be identified if someone wanted to. Just this morning I was wishing I had used a different name. I don't like having to think edit myself because there might be someone I know IRL that could find the blog. Oh well.

  3. I am anonymous (well pretty much) because I like being able to put it all out there and be honest! I wouldn't say some things if my face and name were connected to my page. I would love to share wedding photos and the little details of life, but I love what I get back from my blog.

  4. You are so funny in the second picture!

    I don't think you're being paranoid. I understand and agree with all your reasons. Even though there are things I am happy to say somewhat anonymously to the Internet, I too don't want people I actually know reading my blog. But if somebody I actually know came across it, I think there are enough identifying details in it that somebody would figure out immediately that it was me.

    Another thing to think about is Google and the possibility that somebody in the future (a potential employer, e.g.) could search a name and find a blog. That's another good reason to use an alias.

  5. I am also anonymous. My reason is because my husband is in the military and we are in Germany, and since it's a fairly small community, I don't want to use my own name or face because I want my privacy. Like you, my husband's family doesn't know what we are going through, and at least for me, that's how I want it. Like Curly Sue, I want to be able to bitch and moan without feeling the need to censor myself. Being anonymous is a perfectly valid choice, as is putting it all out there.

  6. I just started blogging so I'm new to this whole concept. Originally I thought I would put my full name out there but then I realized that maybe there's things I want to say that I don't necessarily want my friends and family to read. I like your idea about having a second family blog. Everyone in our immediate families know about our IF struggle and sometimes I get sick of having to answer questions about it at family gatherings. Maybe if I had a blog for them to access they would stop asking if I'm pregnant yet!

  7. If someone wanted to find my IF blog, they could. I am more or less out there. But I still use initials from time to time and never say my full name in case someone is looking for me via go.ogle.
    As time goes on, you begin feeling a little easier about outing yourself. The more and more people you tell (when you are ready), the less you may feel the need for that privacy. But everyone reaches that point at a different time and some never do.


You are fabulous!